The Pioneer Woman of Vodka | Carri Ellen Brown
Parenting, Vodka, and Life in General
By now, every parent has heard of Go The F*ck To Sleep. What you haven't heard is my version, Wake The F*ck Up, which I wrote especially for Ken (who loves to wake up 10 minutes before we have to leave the house). *** The pancakes I made have already been eaten, The coffee? I'm on my fifth cup. The sun is shining and it's a new day, And you, honey, need to wake the f*ck … [Read more...]
I was flossing last night when I noticed a pain in one of my molars. I've been down this road before and I didn't like where it took me. Root Canal Town. (On a side note: They say root canals are painful but I say paying for the root canal is the painful part.) I never want to visit Root Canal Town ever again, so I immediately left a message at my dentist's office and asked for a call … [Read more...]
My mother in law bought Blake a new toy. Sounds nice, right? I'll let you decide. That thing is going back to the MIL's house, pronto. Because I'd rather be eaten alive by a pack of rabid cats than listen to that obnoxious siren. PS. Before you call CPS on me, I have to tell you that we were sitting at the longest red light ever known to man. I probably could have filmed an … [Read more...]
My friend T walked into work last Thursday and asked me a peculiar question. "What was Blake supposed to wear to school today?" The two of us, along with our husbands, went to a Dodger game the night before. Grandpa Dale volunteered to watch Blake overnight and take him to preschool the next morning. And why did I find that question peculiar? Because I gave my dad very specific … [Read more...]
Mom of a monster. Wife of a hot rodder. One half of One Martini at a Time. I don't look at the glass as half empty; I look at it as, "OMG! I'm almost out of vodka!" More Awesomeness...
