Things are about to get a lot more awesome.
Not that it will be very hard; I’ve been practically MIA for several weeks and my last two posts have been about Kim Kardashian.
I’m sorry.
In fact, I’m surprised you’re even here.
I’ve been talking about a new design for a few months now and it was supposed to become reality last weekend. But technical difficulties (read: MY HOST) made it nearly impossible to do the switch without a ton of work.
For now, this is all you need to know about the new site (which will go live after my host switch this Friday):
That’s right. For the sake of my readership (and friendship with Alison), I am declaring the new site a KARDASHIAN FREE ZONE.
But here’s the thing, you guys. I LOVE making fun of that broad. I really do. She makes it so easy for me and I just can’t help myself.
I’ve decided that THIS will be my last Kim Kardashian post (exception being in extreme Throat Punching emergencies) and after this post, Kim Kardashian will only be referred to as “The-Talentless-Hag-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named”.
“That Whore” is also acceptable.
Anywhoo, I’ve decided I need to make this post count before going KK Free. Consider it similar to pigging out the night before you start your new diet.
I’ve scoured the internet, searching for my Top 5 Favorite Kim Kardashian Photos, all in the name of staring my new Kim Kardashian Free diet tomorrow.
So without further ado, I present to you: My Top 5 Kim Kardashian Photos!
5.
Someone get that girl an Evian bath and Diamond Peel Microdermabrasion, STAT!
4.
Here she is crying because she can't hear the TV over the maid vacuuming.
3.
Kim is upset she forgot to pack her favorite Jimmy Choos.
2.
"I just spilled caviar on my new cashmere sweater!"
1.
That awkward moment you realize the public has dubbed you "Bride of Frankenstein".
So, I guess this is goodbye.
No more picking on Kim for saying stuff so incredibly stupid that I want to light myself on fire.
No more complaining about the publicity gained by her failed marriage to Frankenstein.
I need to move on to a bigger and better celebrity.
Ideas?
PS. We’re featuring a Pink Lilikoi Martini over at One Martini at a Time. The combination of grapefruit and passion fruit will make you wish your glass were bottomless!
Just don’t stop talking about drinks on your new site.
DUH.
Okay, I won’t call you Karri, I promise.
Yay to no more KK news! (if it can be called ‘news’)
The correct spelling of my name is bad enough!
I don’t believe you, I don’t think you can pull it off..
What if Kanye and Kim get married and divorced within three days?
What will you do??? This is going to be a challenge, Carri.
OMG I’ve already had to refrain!!!! That’s why I have Facebook. I’ll be posting my KK smut on there.
I’m SO looking forward to your new site. ALMOST as much as I’m looking forward to the day when E! cancels Keeping Up With The Whores-who-shall-not-be-named.
I am SO looking forward to my new site!!! YAY!
I love it when you make fun of Kim. I might light myself on fire if you stop!
If you light yourself on fire, please vlog and/or draw a picture on Paint. Because that would be awesome.
You giving up Kim Kardashian is like me giving up the word vagina. It will leave you empty ans lonely.
KIM KARDASHIAN KIM KARDASHIAN KIM KARDASHIAN!!! I’ll have to come over to your blog and get my KK’s out of my system.
Vagina.